Suburban Princess

My great-grandma turned 103 last Wednesday.

Here's what my mom's cousin had to say about Great-Grandma's big day:

After she layed down for a nap, she woke up and called for Aunt Darlene.
Aunt Darlene didn't hear her calling, so gramma got out of bed by herself and got into her wheelchair.
Linda was on her way down the hall and saw Gramma rolling herself out of the bedroom. Gramma was a little annoyed and turned her nose up in the air when Aunt Darlene asked her what was wrong.
She was great today. Sitting alert, sipping her tea and eating her dainties.
The staff says she is doing so well because she eats so well.
I was amazed at how well she is doing.
If only she'd use a darn hearing aid. LOL

I love it! Happy Birthday Great-Grandma!

Bex ended the show at 1:46 PM | Permalink | Comments

In recovery mode today. Last night Hubs and I were invited to a wine and cheese party being thrown by the parents of a kid in Cam's preschool class. The mom, Lisa, seemed pretty cool, and she invited us and the parents of another kid in the class, Jeff and Jen, who I'm friends with already. It was a good time.

We showed up late as we couldn't find a babysitter and ended up driving the kids out to my mom's to stay overnight at the last minute. By the time we arrived there were about 40 people there and the party was in full swing. (I lectured Hubby in the car before we went in, saying, "If you act stupid, offend anyone, say anything retarded or perverted, you will be leaving in a cab alone!!") Jen and I hung out and drank copious amounts of wine, and chatted. Our husbands had only met once before, and it wasn't too long before they were playing table hockey in the basement and Jeff was kicking Hubby's ass in darts.

By about midnight the music started getting louder (Lisa had the Black Eyed Peas going, unfortunately) and she came running in and said, "Rebecca! Your husband says you love to dance! Come dance with me!" So I looked at Jen and said, "Well, I guess I've had enough wine to allow this," and off we went. The three of us got down in the family room and I seem to remember Lisa, Jen and I dancing on the coffee table. (A photo of this may surface sometime in the future.) The music selection was weak, (especially when Hubs went out to his car and brought in 50 Cent and Ice Cube,)and Jen and I relived our "Tommy's" club days by playing Green Day's "Basket Case". We even pretended to pole dance to songs like "In Da Club." The pervy husbands sat around and made jokes about us all making out with each other. (They got along just fine, and since Hubs wasn't the only one saying stupid stuff, I revoked my earlier warning.) Lisa turned to Jen and me and said, "I just knew you girls would be cool. We're going to be great friends!"

Jen and Jeff were on the babysitter clock, so they left around 1am, and we left at the same time to head over to another party at Hubby's friend Robb's place. A bunch of people he used to work with were there hanging out, and by this time I'd had quite a bit of wine. (I announced to the group how much I hated Hubby's old boss, which they all thought was pretty funny.) We stayed another two hours or so, talking and making jokes while Robb served up antifreeze-like martinis.

Got in at 3:30. Thank gawd the kids are at my mom's because I slept until almost 1pm, and I am still tired.

Now, who says preschool moms can't party?!

Bex ended the show at 1:57 PM | Permalink | Comments

My post about the Depeche Mode showinspired Rigby, now her post has inspired me. (Note: I will add photos later.)

Must have been some kind of kiss, I should have walked away
My first concert ever was at the Regina Centre of the Arts in Regina, Saskatchewan sometime in 1987. My friend Nicole's mom worked for CHAB, the radio station in Moose Jaw, and had tickets to the Cutting Crew, so she took Nicole and me. We were 12, and I thought this was the pinnacle of my preteen experience.

Yeah, I know. You have no idea who they are. Well, they weren't exactly a one-hit wonder, they had hits such as "I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight," and "I've Been in Love Before" - okay, I guess that makes them a two-hit wonder. Still not clueing in? Ah, forget it.

I'm a low brow but I rock a little know how
Then for five long years I didn't see another concert again until my 17th birthday when my parents bought me tickets to the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I was sooo excited. My best friend, Dawn and I were huge fans and were practically known throughout our high school by our love of RHCP. We had the Rolling Stone cover with them on it in our locker. LOVED them.

So we saw them in February of 1992 at the Forum during their tour for Blood, Sugar, Sex Magik. During the opening act Dawn and I got separated in the mosh pit and I was right up against the gates at the front. I had a perfect view of Flea, and I swore he stuck his tongue out at me. I ended up next to a guy from my school in the mosh pit, got my foot trampled on and lost my shoe in the chaos. It was a great time! They didn't get naked and wear socks like they were known to, and I was a bit disappointed about that, but overall it was a great show. Some girl even gave me my shoe that she'd found on the ground afterwards!

No Diggity, No Doubt
Then another long period of non-concert activity. In 1997, my sister and I decided to go see New Edition's Home Again Tour in Seattle's Key Arena. Aside from feeling sorry for the poor dude sitting next to me who was apparently alone and who kept leaving and coming back with food (he never said a word, but kept offering me some of his licorice!) we had a really good time. Blackstreet opened the show, and I screamed my head off for Chauncey, then Teddy Riley ran down the side of the arena and I reached out and skimmed his bald head with my hand!

New Edition was really fun, and my sister was a fun concert date, especially considering this was during a period that Pre-Hubby and I were broken up (again). It was also a great excuse to wear my favourite black patent-leather pants! We spent the whole show getting down in the stands and having a great time. We had gone with the intent that we were going to scream like silly schoolgirls, and we did. When New Edition hit the stage, I screamed, "I LOVE YOU BOBBY!!" And screamed even louder when Bobby mooned his ass to the crowd. This was also shortly before New Edition imploded with all the apparent infighting that went on between them, as my friend Tyson saw them shortly afterward in Vegas and said they took the stage an hour and a half late because they were reportedly fighting with each other backstage!

Although I owned both Blackstreet and New Edition's albums at the time, I can't say it was my favourite show ever. It was just fun. And afterwards, being the only two white chicks in a Denny's at 3am in Seattle was a hilarious experience.

We've Got It Goin' On
In 2001, Shelley, her sister Lindsay, and Sheri and I all decided to go to the Backstreet Boys show. We knew we were losers, and we didn't care. Like I did for the New Edition show, we said we were going to scream like little schoolgirls and we did. We each had our favourite Boy and when they came out and the teeny-bopper screaming started, I screeched, "I LOVE YOU KEVIN!!" and nearly caused the 12-year-old girls sitting in front of us with their mom to pee themselves.

That show was pretty good, considering we all felt like cougars compared to the other concertgoers. We didn't care, though. We were just there for a good time and to have a night to act like pre-pubescent, starry-eyed Backstreet fans. (Ironically, when I was preparing to go to the Blackstreet/New Edition show 4 years before, one of the lawyers at the firm I worked at kept saying I was going to see "Backstreet" and I had to keep correcting him.)

We spent the rest of the show laughing and screaming, and I was literally hoarse for the next two days. Losers, yes. But happy losers.

Say my name, say my name
Also in 2001 I had my first "just-'cause-you're-my-friend" concert attendance. Shelley wanted to see Destiny's Child really bad, and I said I wouldn't spend money to see them. She called me up one day, and cheerily sang, "Happy Birthday!" I said, "My birthday was months ago." She said, "I know, but I got you an early present for next year. You're going to Destiny's Child with me! Yay!" It was so funny!

To her credit, Shelley didn't pick such a bad show. I went with a skeptical mind, but I have to say it was pretty good. It was very much a "girl power" show, with thousands of females singing, "I'm a surivor, I'm not gonna give up, I'm not gon' stop, I'm a surivior!" And while that was kind of corny, I have to admit I gained some respect for Beyonce that night. She works hard at putting on a good performance. And I got a little teary near the end there when they sang "Emotion."

Chances are, 'cause I wear a silly grin, the moment you come into view
Last November Ginny and I went to see Johnny Mathis. I can't even describe how much I love Johnny Mathis. My parents used to play his music when we were kids, and now it just gives me a warm fuzzy feeling when I listen to songs like "Chances Are."

This show was at the Paramount in Seattle, which is my favourite concert venue ever. It is such a gorgeous theatre. (I was intensely jealous when Carly and Clay went to see Audioslave at the Paramount months later. I can't imagine how amazing that would have been.) Even though Ginny and I were by far the youngest audience members there (by about 20 years) we had a great time, and we were right near the front of the stage. Johnny was so humble, friendly and happy the whole time, he chatted kindly between songs, and his voice was just perfect - even though he must be in his 50s or 60s by now! He even smiled as he sang every song. Definately a great night.

I've had you so many times but somehow I want more
I discovered my love for Maroon 5 while listening to my station on launch.com (now just Yahoo Music.) I looked up Maroon 5's website, and lo and behold, they were coming to Vancouver! I emailed Carly and asked if she'd go with me, to which I distinctly remember her responding, "I'm always up for a show." She said Kelly liked Maroon 5 too, so the three of us went.

This one was at the Plaza of Nations, which was a cool place to enjoy a show, but we spent most of it in the beer gardens chatting. I heard all the songs I wanted to hear, and Kelly and I got our glimpses of Adam Levine, and giggled over that while Carly rolled her eyes with disgust.

(There is, however, one memory relating to this show that doesn't have anything to do with Maroon 5 but will always stay with me whenever I think of that day. It was July 11, 2004, the first birthday of my friend Janet's son, Andrew. He was terminally ill and we celebrated the little guy's first birthday at Canuck Place. I left the party for the concert knowing I might not see Andrew again. And sadly, I didn't - this sweet little boy passed away shortly afterward on July 27.)

That brings me up to this year. This year I started going to a lot of shows because of something my friend Rocket said: "I love concerts, and if there's one I want to go to, I'll just do it. You just make it happen, and work it into your life." That got me thinking, and I decided that if there was a show I wanted to see, I would just go. So since I knew Oasis was coming, I told him I wanted to go. And he hooked us up with tickets, and off we went. I won't re-hash that show because I detailed it on my blog already.) The only thing I regret about that show was that we intentionally skipped the opener, Kasabian, and ended up missing the other opener, Jet, as well. I have since developed a love for Kasabian and now wish we would have seen them, and by all the rave reviews of Jet and judging by the great show they were finishing up as we arrived, we should have gotten there in time for them, too.

A couple other shows I've seen this year:

July: Beck - Queen Elizabeth Theatre, with my sister Amy. Two thumbs up. He rocks. Had such a good time.

September: Jimmy Eat World/GreenDay - GM Place, with Rigby. JEW - Two big thumbs up. Good, clean fun. Read more here. GreenDay - two words: Arrested Development. Left about four songs in.

September: Audioslave - GM Place, with Rigby, Clay, and Rigby's friend Jason. AMAZING. Developed a love for Rage Against the Machine. Great fun.

November: Depeche Mode - GM Place, with Hubby. Fulfilled my teenage fantasies. Everything I'd hoped it would be. As I said, now I can check off something on my things to do before I die list.

November: Gwen Stefani - GM Place, with Shelley. I'll let you know! Tomorrow night! YAY!

I'd like to do a list of other bands I'd like to see before I die, but I'll leave that for another post.

Bex ended the show at 9:41 PM | Permalink | Comments

I'm enrolling my daughter in ballet lessons, starting in January. I don't know who is more excited, me or her. I'm having huge flashbacks to when I was taking ballet when I was little. Today I took her to get her bodysuit, tights and ballet slippers for dance class. Tried to take a picture of her, but she and her brother were goofing off and this is all I could get.

Bex ended the show at 12:51 AM | Permalink | Comments

Feeling a little juvenile tonight. I just had a word verification that had the word "bum" in it. Hee hee. But I forgot to save it to post here. Damn.

(Oh yeah - one more day til Gwen.)

Bex ended the show at 12:43 AM | Permalink | Comments

So last night's show was awesome. The Hub was an interesting concert date, seeing as this was his second concert experience EVER - the first being "Up in Smoke" about five years ago with Snoop Dogg, Dr. Dre and cohorts. Yup, not much of a concert guy. And because he knows Depeche Mode's "Violator" album, I assumed he'd listened to all their older stuff too, meaning that we shared at least one musical interest. I was about to find out differently.

The show started with some of their new stuff from the new album, which I haven't yet heard, but it was pretty good. Of course the best part of the night was hearing all the old tunes like "Everything Counts," "Enjoy the Silence," "Policy of Truth," and of course, "Personal Jesus". It totally brought back memories and reminded me of why I like Depeche Mode. It was also really fun to sing Depeche Mode songs with a stadium full of people who also knew the words. The band did two encores, one of which included my all-time favourite DM song, "Never Let Me Down," which I didn't expect to hear...surely "People Are People" or something else would have come first, but hey, I'm not complaining.

Dave Gahan is a great performer. He gets down from the minute he's onstage to the minute he's off. At one point, when he was gyrating his hips while wearing black leather pants and a vest that was open in the front, Hubs turns to me and says, "Are these guys gay?" Truth is, I couldn't remember. My guess was yes, but now that I think about it, maybe not. Later Dave stripped off his vest and spent the rest of the show cavorting around shirtless (see the pic for this post), and Hubs leans over and says, "Definitely gay."

And Martin Gore did a few songs, most noteably "Somebody," which, although it reminds me of dumbass teenagers in love, I still think it is one of the best romantic songs out there. And at the beginning of the show he was wearing a hat that looked like some sort of pony costume/touque hybrid. (I'm thinking of a show my friend Janet was telling me about that showed a fetish group of people who liked to dress up like ponies, but I'll leave that reference alone...) I also noticed that Martin was wearing black feather wings and black feathers on his boots. That kind of weirdness is part of what I love about DM in general, I think.



Then when they started playing the older songs like "Question of Time," "Everything Counts," and "Just Can't Get Enough," Hubby started saying stuff like, "This song is Depeche Mode? I had no idea!" Suddenly I realized he really didn't know Depeche Mode at all, and he confirmed later that he only listened to the "Violator" album when it came out in high school and didn't know their other older stuff at all. And when he started playing country music in the car to aggravate Rocket and me, I realized how far apart we are musically after all!

It was a great show. It really brought back a love for Depeche Mode, although I can't see myself loving them as much as I did when I was 15 or 16, - it just won't ever be the same. I'm sure seeing their show in the late 80s/early 90s would have been slightly more amazing, but I can now check off something on my "things to do before I die" list.

Bex ended the show at 8:58 AM | Permalink | Comments

My awesome friend Rocket called last night and offered me two tickets to see Depeche Mode tonight. I can not explain how totally thrilled I am to be seeing them live! They were my favourite band when I was like 14 or 15, and I have always wanted to see them in concert. And tonight it happens! I've literally waited half my life for this!

Hubby decided to rearrange some earlier plans to go with me, since everyone else I called couldn't go (or like Carly said with disdain, "I'm not paying money to see Depeche Mode.")

Yay for me!!

(And only 5 days til Gwen! Woo!)

Bex ended the show at 11:58 AM | Permalink | Comments

Was visiting my sister this afternoon, and had to pick up a few items for dinner as Rocket was coming over to make me some enchiladas. Gin said she would watch the kids so I could run out and get the stuff quickly, so off I went.

A couple of dumbasses didn't know how to get out of their parking spots and exit the lot efficiently, so the truck behind me and I had to wait awhile. As I was walking in, the guy from the truck next to me said, "Wow, took a while for everyone to get organized back there!" and I responded with a smile, "Yeah, guess so!"

We chatted briefly while we went into the store and went our separate ways. Halfway through my search, I ran into him again and he smiled and said, "Hi again!" I laughed a bit and he said, "It's awkward when you enter the store with someone and you run into them later, then you wonder if they think you're stalking them!" I said, "Well, I'm not from around here anyway, so I'm not worried," He then said he was trying to find soft tortilla shells, which was exactly what I was looking for, so a store employee led us to the Mexican food section. The dude kept talking to me, telling me he was making dinner for friends, and how he is used to cooking for one, and how he usually eats fast food. I'm nodding quietly at this point, and add that I am having dinner with a friend and my kids. (When I recognize that I'm potentially being hit on, I always throw in the kids reference first, then if necessary throw out the hubby reference second.)

Got what I needed, went to the checkout - dude arrives and joins the line right behind me, basket in one arm and armload of buttwipe under the other arm. Starts chatting again. I tell him where I'm from, and he tells me he flies planes at the airport in my city. I'm nodding and praying for the freakin' woman in front of me to hurry the hell up, and he breaks out with, "So maybe your kids would like to come out for a ride in the plane one day?" I said politely, "Um, I don't know. They aren't really the type." He goes for the kill: "So maybe Mom would like to?"

Gawd, buddy, this is in the middle of the dinnertime grocery store rush - in the 20 items or less line!! Everyone is listening at this point, and I don't want to make this embarrassing or awkward, because I HATE awkward. And it's not just that I'm married - it's that he's SO not my type! Frig!

"Oh, that's not really my thing." (It is.)

STILL doesn't get the message, and continues with, "Oh, it's much better than flying in a bigger plane, in a smaller plane you feel like you have more control and you feel a lot safer" (Yeah, tell that to my mom who needs to dope herself up to get on a commercial flight - you couldn't get her in one of those little planes if her life depended on it!)

I finish paying for my shiz, politely wish him good luck with his dinner party, and make a mad dash for the door. Flying to my car while trying not to look like a bat out of hell, I'm just getting in when I hear, "Excuse me..."

Crap.

He hands me his business card with his cell phone number and says, "Here's my number. I don't know if you're single, but..." I say nicely, "Um, I'm not," and he shoves the card at me and says, "Well, here anyway..." and races off.

For one, good on him for at least taking a chance. That's how you meet people, right? I mean, I admire the guy for his persistence.

But could I have created a more cringe-worthy situation for myself? (Rigby can attest to the fact that I turn stone cold frozen when I get hit on in a very forward way, she saw me crash and burn at the Vance Hotel back in April.) I kept hearing the alarm bells going off, saying "The Hubby Reference! Now! Do it now! Now! NOW!!" But I felt too awkward, and when it finally came down to the wire, I made it worse, for myself and this poor guy.

Geez. When will I learn?

Bex ended the show at 12:50 AM | Permalink | Comments

I know, I know, some of you are thinking, "Screw you, Bex! It's only November!" but I am sooo stoked about the holidays. The way I see it, the earlier you enjoy it, the longer you get to enjoy it. I got a good taste of it at my job in September because we were planning the holiday campaign and I was writing holiday headlines and looking at the holiday creatives - it was so fun! They hired me to write some holiday headlines for some upcoming flyers last week, so I got another taste of it, and it got me so excited I went out and bought a few Christmas cards!



And thanks to Carly's recommendation, I downloaded Jimmy Eat World's "Last Christmas" and I LOVE it! I'm listening to it right now and it makes me feel so festive! Eeee!

I have about half my holiday shopping done too!

Bex ended the show at 3:28 PM | Permalink | Comments

Going through some files on my computer and found this article I'd written about Rigby's and my experience at a local eatery.

Joey Tomato’s Coquitlam
May 11, 2005

This restaurant gets good reviews from men. Okay, the waitresses get good reviews from men. But let’s be real here. The food, the service, and the atmosphere, that’s what makes a restaurant, right? Right? No?

Well, we decided to give JT (as I like to call it) a shot. We went in, and the really saccharine hostess greeted us at the door and welcomed us very enthusiastically, and invited us to have an appetizer while we were waiting to be seated.

Now, excuse me for being a bit picky, but how long has this “appetizer” been sitting on this table by the door? Long enough to garner enough bacteria to make me sick? Long enough for someone else’s grubby fingers to touch it while they are grabbing a morsel for themselves? Long enough for all the germs from passersby to cough on and who knows what else? I mean, this is basically public food – it’s just – sitting there. Normally I wouldn’t touch something like this, but I was starving, so I popped a bit in my mouth. Spicy, yes, tasty…uh, no. Oh, well, strike one.

We are seated. Now to check out the décor. This restaurant is nicely decorated, don’t get me wrong, but my husband calls it “the best vibe and the best thing going in the Lower Mainland.” (Well, this is also coming from a guy that eats ground beef cooked up with rice and soy sauce, so we’re not talking restaurant critic here.) I’d like to say that that weird looking blown-glass thingy in the middle of the dining room is cool, but it’s just sorta freaky and dumb. Like somebody is trying to be artsy, but the whole thing reminds me of an ugly red and orange blown-glass ornament my mom used to have in our living room in the 70’s before my sister broke it.

But I digress.

Our server was nice. But am I the only person who is sick of going to a restaurant and feeling like the server thinks they are supposed to become our friend for the hour and a half they are serving us? I guess some people think this is what makes a place fun, trendy, welcoming, or whatever? I for one am just tired of the forced friendship. Come on, do you really care how my night is going? If it’s going badly, are you going to care? I doubt it. The worst is when the server squats down beside your table and starts really chatting. Oh boy. Now we have to make conversation.

I guess I should justify my disdain for perky, hyper-friendly, wanna-be-your-friend-for-the-hour behaviour in most "trendy" restaurants. I used to be a hostess and a server. Note the phrase "used to be". Not my bag, baby. I hated serving people with a heated passion. Do I care if you want a refill. Sorry, pal. I was a pleasant server, but I felt very fake doing that job. Not for me. I want real. I have had a couple of "real" servers who don't play the game but still give great service. It's a delicate balance not everyone can pull off.

But on this particular night, to her credit, our server was on top of things, got our appetizer right away since I told her we were starving, and she was pretty accommodating. The problem came later. We had just decided that the food was mediocre, (me, chicken souvlaki wrap with Caesar salad, she, some prawn bowl dish.) and overpriced, and the servers were sort of bimbos, we went to pay our bill and another server offered to help us, but on seeing our bill, she said, “Oh, I’ll have to find your server, where is …” and said the name of our server out loud, which was about the bimboest name I could have hoped for. Dear gawd. My friend turned around and looked at me and suppressed a laugh, and I couldn’t suppress the mutual feeling – I snickered out loud. Oh dear.

Our server took our bill payments and we said our obligatory thank yous, blah blah…and we walked past the hostesses who called out their friendly goodbyes: "Goodnight ladies!" We walked no more than 10 steps outside the front door when my brain reverted back to the Visa bill I'd just added a tip onto and signed. I stopped and said, “Wait a minute, how much was our bill?” My friend said, “About $45, why?” “Oh my gawd, they totally overcharged me! I was charged $44!” My friend checks her bill, and she was charged $44 as well.

Hmm…forty-five dollars…divided by two…is…not forty-four.

So we turned around and went back inside. The hostess looked at us and I saw her face brighten with the obligatory welcoming smile and…oh lord, here it comes…I’m trying to walk away fast before it hits…

”Hi there, is it for two?” (Sigh.)

My friend looks disgusted as she says, “Uh, we were just in here.”

We are met by our server, who has just discovered her gaffe on our bill and has come to rectify the error. We make the obligatory jokes and she voids out my Visa, and gives my friend cash to make up for the debit payment she made.

We leave again, and silence prevails for just a moment before my friend pipes up and says, “What the hell was with that girl at the door? We didn’t even get ten steps outside and she still doesn’t recognize us when we come back in! What the hell?”

“Oh my god, I know. And since when does 45 divided by two equal 44? What if I hadn’t noticed that? That was overpriced food as it was, let alone paying twice as much!”

Off we drive into the night. Hey, I don’t blame anyone for my bad night at JT, really. Okay, maybe the hostess who has the memory of a goldfish, but whatever. I always say I’m bad with recognizing faces, but come on. Working at a restaurant that makes the female staff members wear high-heeled leather boots to work, vericose veins ain't the only problem they've got.

Bex ended the show at 12:44 PM | Permalink | Comments

I've been spending a lot of time lately reading random posts on the Vancouver section of craigslist.org . Some of the stuff people write is so funny, I laugh out loud and then spend hours reading more, then I realize it's 3am and I'm a complete loser, and go to bed feeling sorry for myself because I'm going to be tired the next day, and geez, why didn't I just go to bed earlier, I have so much to do...

Anyway, I found this post today, and it made me laugh because this girl sounds like my kind of woman. Not sure if I would really want to dress up like a skank do the club thing, but I love her style! I think it's kinda sad that her married friends don't want to go out. Definately my biggest peeve about married women. (And who would want lefty hippies for friends anyway?)

Wanted: Catty Bitches - w4w - 25

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Reply to:
Date: 2005-11-03, 3:49PM PST


I'm looking for a woman or women who is/are interested in ripping it up on the town some night. All my girlfriends are either a) married b) lefty hippies or c) both of the above. I seem to have run out of cute girls to go cavorting with! And frankly, cavorting alone is just not that much fun.

Thing is, I'm not really a club girl. I'm usually pretty content to relax with the friends I do have over dinner, drinks, talk about good books, see interesting films, talk politics and contemplate life in general.

But every month or two I get the urge to put on something short and tight, with a tad too much makeup and some painfully high heels and go perch myself at a bar somewhere while I talk smack with my girls about the skanks across the room (pot, kettle, black, yes I get it), consume more Martinis than socially acceptable - perferably paid for by someone tall, dark and handsome (more likely paid for by Mr. Mastercard) - followed by shaking my groove thang and maybe collecting a few phone numbers before pouring myself into a cab and going home (alone!) to pass out and wake up wondering why the hell I do this to myself.

I repeat: this is not my entire life - but it's fun to go out and play club-girl every now and again. I suppose I could find a set of club-hoppers to run around with, but it'd be nice to have some intelligent conversation and maybe hang out outside of painting the town red too.

So if you and/or your girlfriends are between 23-30 and interested in getting a little Drrrrrty, Xtina style without a) thinking you're contributing to the downfall of feminism or b) thinking being Drrrrty, Xtina style is an acceptable lifestyle choice, then drop me a line!

I'm all dressed up with nowhere to go!

Bex ended the show at 1:27 PM | Permalink | Comments

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to good manners and elegance. Do potato chip crumbs on his shirt count as good manners and elegance? In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. Doesn't every princess have loyal subjects? You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. *Ahem* I AM stylish and alluring. (Ha.) You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Yup, hate the drama. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Overall I think continuity is good. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. I have broken commitments and I have cheated (not since I was married though.) I wouldn't cheat in my marriage. Too much to lose. Unless it's David Beckham. But that's totally different. You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. Marriage? Confining? No! But sometimes confinement can be a good thing! ;) In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.Self-centred? Um, HELLO?? Read my blog much?

Bex ended the show at 1:42 PM | Permalink | Comments

So apparently my humiliating story of the discovery of a personal item of a sexual nature in my parents' living room has made the rounds. People have told me it's the most hysterical thing they've heard in a while. Glad you all could enjoy my agony.

Well, today I got a call from my sister who said she tried to do me a favour, and picked up said item and hid it in her bag to give to me later. Congratulating herself on her stealth, she promptly forgot about it.

A few days later she takes her daughter, my little niece, over to mom's to be babysat, and when she returned, she saw Baby on the floor surrounded by toys - including that toy. As she picked it up to toss it back in the bag, mom notices and says, "That's a pretty good baby toy, where'd you get it?" (Oh gawd, she DOES think it's a teething toy!!)

Sis says, "I don't know...it's Becky's."

Mom, knowing my kids are well past the teething stage, says, "What does Becky need it for?" (Aaaaaaaaaaaagh!!)

Sis, praying for this conversation to end, says, "I don't know!"

She calls me up to relay this story and tell me how mortified she is now that she is implicated in this debacle. She said she should have just told mom what is was and that it was mine. No way! I don't really need mom knowing that! We're the non-sex talking family! Ew!

I told her just to throw the stupid thing out, the last thing we need is a hair-raising third chapter to this ridiculous story.

So it's gone. And if you're wondering what it was, it was something like this: not a baby teething toy.

Bex ended the show at 9:19 PM | Permalink | Comments

Am I the only one who sees the longer word verifications in the comment area and thinks, "Oh gawd, how am I supposed to get this right? I can't even see what some of these letters are!" "Is that a j or an i? Dammit, I can't tell if that's an I or an L!" Or if it's only a few letters, "Good! Less effort!"

Wow. I am lazy.

Bex ended the show at 3:23 PM | Permalink | Comments