« Home | Does Janet Jackson have a secret daughter? » | Unemployed bums » | Men I Once Dated, Part 2 » | Men I Once Dated » | When you don't have cable, you gotta have something » | Late-night losers » | When what's lost is found » | The family's altogether for Thanksgiving » | I need some Gwen! » | But it's for work... »

Holy hell! How did that get there?!

I've debated over whether I was going to post this, but it's so awful I figured I'll just do it. Brace yourselves, though, because it may contain a little "too much information", if you get my meaning...

So today I'm at my mom's house, she's helping me put together little Cam's ghost costume for her preschool Halloween party tomorrow. If you know my parents, you'll know I was raised in a practicing Mormon home, very devout and very conservative. And we don't talk about sex. Ever.

Anyway, we're having a tough time coming up with a concept of how to make her look like a ghost and not a KKK member. So I call up Gramma in Winnipeg and get her take on it. As I'm talking, I'm wandering around the living room, and happen to look over at the mantle above the fireplace...and froze dead on the spot. Lost my train of thought in the conversation. Nearly dropped the phone.

What did I see, you ask? Well, let's just say it's something from an "Adult Home Party."

There are three things wrong with this scenario:

1. There is a 'sexual aid' on my parents' mantle in their freaking living room.
2. The sheer fact that it is just sitting on the mantle means that they have no idea what it is.
3. It's mine.

I couldn't grab it because my mom was in the room and I didn't want to draw attention to it (and then possibly have to explain what it is - oh, lordy, the very thought!!) And after we got the costume finished, I was so rushed trying to get the kids home because it was their bedtime and we had a 45 minute drive ahead of us that I forgot to get my, uh, item. Not to mention that a lady from my mom's church came by just as I was leaving and she and my mom were sitting there.

I have NO CLUE how it got there. The only thing I can think of is that it's something we had at our old house and I haven't seen it since we moved here. We did borrow my dad's truck to move a few things when we moved, so that could be it. Or one of the kids took it there as a toy (they used to always get into my bedside table drawer, hence all my personal effects are now in a shoebox on a high shelf in my closet.) Not quite sure which is more cringe-worthy.

I called Hubby when I got home and told him, and he said, "Well, you obviously took it back, right?" Um, nope. "So it's still sitting there?" That would be correct.

This is so very wrong in so many ways.

Oh my god...I am laughing my ass off. Do tell, what is it?

People walking by my desk at work asked why I was crying, I was laughing that hard.

Hahahahahaha that's so funny! And NOT too much information. Oh my gosh.

Holy crap - that's funny! I almost stopped reading this entry because I was afraid "it" belonged to Mom and Dad and I just couldn't handle that kind of detail. I'm going straight to Mom's to check out what it is!!! Stay tuned for my next comment (after I get back!!) Bwahahaha!

You better get it back - I might need it during my next business trip. To hold my scrolls together you perv!

If I was your husband, I'd buy you a new one for Christmas and make sure you open it in front of your parents.

well i was there today and i paid perticular attention to the mantle "decoration" ...and saw nothing....hmmmm so where is it now???

HA! That's awesome! The "3. It's mine." completely killed me. cant. stop. laughing.

Girls just want to have fun!!

Well if it isn't there, where is it?

I was saying to Carly the other day that I think they might think it's a cat toy or a cat brush. Or worse, maybe they think it's a baby teething toy! Just watch your kids when they're over there! Eek.

Oh sure...tell me that now. Excuse me while I disinfect my kid.

Post a Comment