Breast IS best - what side are you on?
My opinion - brace yourselfAt the risk of making myself seem really crunchy granola, I have been thinking a lot lately about breastfeeding and my true feelings about it. I am quite aware that this topic can be a touchy one, so if you have strong feelings one way or the other, you will either be nodding in agreement to this post or you might be pretty offended. But I'm laying my true opinion out now.
My neighbour (let's call her Neighbour #1) was telling me recently about another neighbour (#2) of ours who recently gave birth to a baby girl. #2 had told #1 that she had no intention of breastfeeding because it was "creepy." "Especially," she added, "because I'm having a girl. It's just too weird having a girl sucking on my boob." Um, okay.
First of all, major boob issues aside, no one can argue that breastmilk is far superior than formula feeding a newborn infant. Fact. But women still have the choice whether to breastfeed or not. Especially in our industrialized society where we don't have to worry about malnutrition or contaminated water or other basics that we take for granted.
So I was particularly irritated to read this article in last week's Georgia Strait magazine:
Read the rest of the story here.The Nestlé booth was abuzz with pregnant women and new parents at the Baby and Family Fair on September 16 and 17. The attraction was free Baby Einstein and Disney DVDs, free rice-cereal samples, free infant formula samples, and a send-away card for a free diaper bag, a baby-magazine subscription, and more formula. It was one of the juiciest giveaways at the Vancouver Convention and Exhibition Centre event.
Meanwhile, Douglas College’s perinatal program manager, Kathleen Lindstrom, was trying to entice the thousands of orb-bellied women to come to her breast-feeding workshop.
“I said, ‘Come find out how to save thousands of dollars a year and feed your baby free,’” Lindstrom recounted to the Georgia Straight. “But I couldn’t tear them away from the formula booths. I felt like getting on the loudspeaker and saying, ‘Do you not care about what’s going into your baby?’”
I didn't realize how big of a breastfeeding advocate I was until I had my own children. I support a woman's right to "choose" how to feed her baby. Of course I do. But let me let you in on a little secret: I don't respect the ones who don't breastfeed.
Yup, I said it. When I hear the new mom say, "Oh, I tried it, but I just couldn't do it, so I quit at about three weeks." I'll nod compassionately, but inside my head I'm fuming. Why the hell didn't she stick it out longer? I know I'm not in her shoes, but for the love of god, how is feeding your baby formula better than breastfeeding? It's free, it's natural, and it's proven to be healthier and BETTER! Besides, doesn't the word "FORMULA" itself gross you out?
Excuses, Excuses
Some of the reasons parents give for not breastfeeding are:
1. Dad wants to be part of the feeding process/give mom a break during night feedings. Why? What for? How is giving a bath or changing a diaper or playtime any less important? Breastfeeding mothers are usually not working outside the home (especially not in Canada where they enjoy a year's maternity leave) so what benefit is it to both parents for mom to sleep while dad (who is likely working) wakes up to feed? Especially if sleep is the issue, there are safe ways to have your baby sleep in bed with you and you don't even have to be awake while your baby feeds in the middle of the night. (I LOVED co-sleeping, I never went through that "exhausted new parent" phase. People would say to Hubby and I, "You must be exhausted with a new baby!" and we'd look at each other, puzzled, and say no, we were pretty well-rested.)
2. Not enough milk. Not usually likely. I read a statistic somewhere that said only a small percentage of failed breastfeeding attempts are true lack of supply issues. If this is a concern, a lactation consultant or breastfeeding counsellor is the best person to ask. There are ways of telling if your baby is getting enough than looking at the number of ounces on the side of a bottle.
3. Uncomfortable with breastfeeding. I really have nothing to say to this. If you are so uncomfortable with your own body that you can't nourish your child - that's a whole other ball of wax. I am also annoyed when I hear about breastfeeding women who were asked to leave a mall or other public place. People seriously need to get over the sexualization of female breasts. There are discreet ways of feeding your baby without showing everyone some boob. I used to go to another room or the washroom to feed Devon when he was first born, but after a while I realized I was being stupid. And I fed him (and subsequently Camryn) in malls, in restaurants, friends' houses and wherever else I happened to be. I kept a blanket over my shoulder and usually no one ever noticed.
4. Too hard/tried it and it "didn't work out". This is the reason I have the least amount of sympathy or patience for. It often takes up to 6 weeks for mother and baby to establish a routine and learn how to do it. Sore, cracked nipples can be avoided if you are taught how to breastfeed properly. This is what breastfeeding counsellors and lactation consultants are for. Breastfeeding is NOT innate. It has to be learned, and it's worth learning.
5. Have to work/can't be with baby to feed. This is a very real situation for many families, especially in the States where maternity leave is only 6 weeks, or less if your job doesn't guarantee it. This is antoher area where I'm a little more understanding as well, but this is also where learning to use a good breastpump comes in handy. Many companies are supportive of allowing lactating mothers time to pump privately while at work, in order to keep a supply of breastmilk going for their babies.
Formula companies and marketing
And the formula companies and their marketing tactics - don't get me started! There are regulations on how formula companies can market formula, (see the actual document on the World Health Organization website here) but there are always infractions and companies pushing the boundaries. There are people who boycott Nestle because of their marketing tactics, particularly their marketing efforts in developing countries - they marketed formula to mothers of infants, but because of lack of funds to keep buying the product, and lack of clean water to mix the formula with, babies were actually being malnourished and starved!! Now this is no longer the case, as they have a stricter marketing policy in Third World countries now, but how does a coroporation justify marketing their product to these countries who obviously don't benefit from it?
Not to mention how in North America and industrialized areas they and other formula producers are offering free samples and toys, DVDs and other baby items just to get their product into your home. They know that if you have it in the house, there's the chance you might find it easier to give up on breastfeeding and never look back. I got so sick of getting mailouts and other crap sent to me when I signed up on pregnancy/parenting websites, entered contests in maternity stores (I hate Thyme Maternity!!) or went to baby-related events (although I never went to baby fairs.) Corporations have the money to bombard you, and they will, in the hopes that you will feed your child in a way that will benefit them.
It's not the milk, it's you!
Both sides of the breastfeeding/bottlefeeding debate have their "studies" to back up their reasoning, but this article today on cbc.ca caught my eye. I'm waiting to see what kind of furor this is going to create:
Breastfeeding is important for healthy growth and development but it does not help a child's intelligence, researchers say.
Breastfed children score higher on IQ tests, but the effect is likely because mothers who breastfeed tend to be more intelligent, better educated, wealthier and provide a more stimulating environment at home, the British team concluded.
I think it is an interesting conclusion to say the least, almost more potentially "offensive" than the original theory that it was the breastmilk itself that was contributing to the intelligence of the child, not the parent's parenting. Yikes. At least then there was no one to blame either way. I know that a lot of working parents can't make breastfeeding logistically work, and I think this is why the study came to this conclusion. And with all the perceived guilt and judgement that goes on between working and at-home parents, I'm sure this study will draw a few lines.
Now I'm not getting on my high horse about how I fed my children, (Devon was breastfed for 10 months, Camryn for 13 months,) or about the fact that I am fortunate enough to be able to stay home with my kids while Hubby works (I do it out of choice, and trust me, I'll be going back to work when they are in school all day!) All I'm saying is that I personally believe that babies deserve the best that their parents can give them, and I belive being fed a natural and healthy substance is BETTER than a chemically reproduced substitute. Not to mention that breastfeeding is an intimate and personal time between mother and child that makes such a difference in the parent-child bond.
Don't hate me
So there you have it - my REAL opinion. Keep in mind I'm not so militant that I condemn all mothers who don't breastfeed, I know that there are TRUE lack of supply issues, work situations, or situations where for the mother's own mental/emotional stability breastfeeding is not a good option. But I always wonder in the back of my head how things could have worked out if the parents had given it an honest and dedicated shot.
So...now you're either cheering me on or seething with fury at me. I understand (and I really mean it this time!) This is never going to be an issue where everyone will agree. I just had to get this opinion out (and what better place than my own blog?)
Fortunately for me, (and everyone who disagrees with me,) my kids are way past the breastfeeding stage and it's not a direct issue anymore. But heaven help my kids when they have babies!
Edited to add: If you are still reading (and still interested,) an article about breastfeeding in Canada and what the issues are came out in Today's Parent magazine. It had some very interesting information. You can read it here.
