Suburban Princess

Actually, my title is a little misleading. I like diamonds. (Canadian ones, not South African ones that people are slaving and fighting for and not getting any profit from while North American companies reap the benefit.) I actually would like to have a nice diamond, because I think they are beautiful, not because I want to show everyone that I am married, or to say, "Look what my man bought for me!"

So that's probably why, about two days ago while driving in my car I was really irked to hear a radio ad for Spence Diamonds, (nope, they don't get a link) whose ads have always bugged me, but this one really took the cake. Let me see if I can paraphrase:

"Psst. You. Yeah, you. I know what you're thinking, and you're right. Your girlfriend is paying for this ad because she wants you to know but she doesn't want to say it. She wants to get engaged. That's right, I said the "e" word - engaged! She knows that other guys are checking out her hand and they're happy when they don't see a diamond ring there. But she doesn't want them, she wants you. You know how wonderful she is, and it's time you showed her how much she means to you. She deserves it. So get her the diamond that proves it and make it official. She makes your world brighter, get her the diamond that makes her brighten up too..." blah, blah, blah. You get the idea.

But WOW!! Thanks, Spence, for clearly making almost every woman out there look like a complete ass. Because every woman is secretly plotting how to get her boyfriend to marry her and propose with a huge diamond, right? Because you can't be in a relationship without the pressure of marriage being the ultimate goal, right? Because that's the only way to do it and if he doesn't buy you a diamond, he doesn't truly love you, right? This ad isn't just an insult to women, it's an insult to normal, secure adult relationships!

Hearing the ad was timely because I'm currently reading The Meaning of Wife by Anne Kingston, where she talks about the role of the wife and how it is seen in society. (Yes, Janet, it's yours, and I will return it, just after I read it one last time!) Consider this:

While single women are carving out their own reality, improvising their lives, they are routinely targeted by marketing intended to inspire them to conform, to marry, and to spend. In effect, single women are being asked to buy into imagery that reduces them to marriage-hungry stereotypes not seen since the 1950s.

Kingston also writes:

De Beers also put a value on the future wife directly linked to her husband's earning potential. That arrived with its edict that an engagement ring should cost two months of her future husband's salary. The size of the diamond, went the marketing message, represented the depth of love, as illustrated in one De Beers ad: "You can't look at Jane and tell me she's not worth two months' salary. Just look at her. So I wanted to get her the biggest diamond I could afford. ONe that other men could see without getting too close."

The value of the ring was a flexible standard, however, based on what the market would bear. In Europe, men were asked to shell out the equivalent of one months' salary; in Japan, brides were assigned a higher price tag by De Beers as men were expected to spend three month's salary on their future wives.

I could go on. I strongly encourage everyone to read this book, it was thought-provoking and definately articulated some thoughts I have had about the role of the wife for a long time (for good and bad!)

Hubby and I did get a diamond ring when we were engaged, but we were so poor that we couldn't afford anything extravagant. I didn't care, I liked it more for the fact that it was a nice ring (and got a lot of compliments on its unique white and yellow gold design.)

I lost my engagement ring and wedding band when I was pregnant with Camryn and my fingers swelled up to the point where I couldn't get my rings off. I had them cut off at the jeweller's, and somehow lost them after that. He took his off when he started playing football and nearly lost a finger one day and never put it back on. So now neither of us wears a wedding band, because neither of us feels the need to show the world that we are married and in love by a piece of jewellery.

I'll end this rant with the statement that while I do appreciate a diamond, I will make it a point to not expect one from my husband - I can get one myself if I want it, because it is simply a piece of jewellery, not a statement about my availability, status, or relationship. And when I do get one, it will definitely not be from Spence Diamonds.

Bex ended the show on Tuesday, April 25, 2006 at 2:35 PM | Permalink