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Men I Once Dated

I'm bumping this post up because I finally got off my arse and dug through some old pictures. I think the effect is better with the photo.

One of the first websites I frequented when I first discovered the Internet was BRETTNews. Brett featured a column from time to time called "Men My Mother Dated" and would tell a story (claimed to be "mostly true") about some experience his mother had had in her dating years. They were pretty entertaining, and later I found Brett had published the stories as a book.

So I have decided to review some of my dating stories, or, "Men I Once Dated," ...well, if you can call them that.

I think one of the most colourful characters I dated was Jude. Jude was the friend of a friend who had moved from Abbotsford to Vancouver and came back to Ab every now and then to visit. One New Year's Eve he came out to party with us, and when we arrived (er, crashed) the party we intended to ring the New Year in at, we were refused entry because of our friend Jude. You see, he looked a little rough around the edges.

He wore an eye patch.



No, he was not a pirate. The story was that he had been hit in the eye with a baseball bat in a fight, and had to wear it for real medical reasons, but I think he continued to wear it a little longer than necessary. He also had spikey hair and - hmm, should I say it? A rattail. Believe it or not, I thought it was incredibly attractive, but note that I have always been a sucker for the bad boy.

That New Year's Eve I spent riding around in his brother's SUV with a bunch of my friends. He and I didn't really get to know each other, but I was definately attracted to him. That night I stayed at a friend's house, and we chatted for a while after getting to her place, and I opened up and told her I had a thing for Jude, and she admitted she did too! We laughed and said how cute is that, but secretly plotted to obliterate the other.

Anyway, I guess word got around that I had the hots for him, and somehow (I can't remember how) we ended up an item of sorts. We would hang out together, and he would take me shopping and buy me stuff. (I never wondered where he got his money from, even though he never seemed to have a job...hmmm!) For Valentine's Day, (ahem, and my birthday the day before that,) he came to my house and brought me a gold ring shaped into the word "love." It even came in a heart-shaped box.

Well, the romance came to a screeching halt when another friend told me she found out that on the very day that he came to give me my birthday/Valentine's present, he'd been to this other girl's house and given her a present too! Hmph! But that's not even the clincher...a few days later, my informant friend arrived at my doorstep and said, "Jude wants back the jewellery he gave you." (Meaning another ring and a gold bracelet of his he'd let me wear.) I wasn't terribly crushed over the turn of events, and huffed and rolled my eyes, and my friend was sympathetic. I got the stuff, and she said, "Oh, just come out to my truck - he's hiding in there because he's too ashamed to get this stuff from you himself."

So I went outside and yanked open the door to her truck, and sure enough, the dumbass is lying across the seat of the truck, waiting, and as soon as the door opened he jolted up and said, "Oh! uh, hi!" I had to stifle a snicker as I tossed his stuff to him and said, "Well, there ya go," and he mumbled, "Thanks," and I said, "So long then!" and slammed the door in his face. My friend and I had a good chuckle over that.

The last time I heard from Jude was when I was living in downtown Vancouver with Hubby (before Hubby was my hubby) about 10 years ago. He phoned me from jail, and asked if I wanted to come visit him. I said I would, more because I was curious to see if he was really in jail or not, and and I kind of wanted to see what jail was like. He told me where it was. I forgot to go, and that was the end of that.

That's funny! I can't wait for more installments! More! More!

I didn't realize that you are, in fact, accustomed to spending the night riding around in a stranger's SUV. Poor Brent's wasn't the first. That's scary!

Hello?! As if that's your best dating story!!! Don't you remember "kind, yet brutal"...and how he found out his sister was really his mom?!!

That photo really should have been included the first time around! That's hysterical!

Kind, yet brutal? Elaborate!

I pulled about five other guys' pictures I found in my box of shiz. There will be more to come, my friends.

HAHAHAHA that's so funny!!

I can't wait for more!!

I look forward to reading about all the guys you, ah, "dated". However, I don't always have access to the internet when I'm traveling. Perhaps you could do it in book format, and I can carry it on the plane to read it. Oh, I guess that won't work. The maximum weight of carry-ons is 25 pounds.

PS You definately (sic) need to work on your spelling. Maybe then you'll have a shot to beat me in Scrabble once in a while. Booyaa!

YOU need to work on YOUR spelling - Boo-yah!!

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