Suburban Princess

Was visiting my sister this afternoon, and had to pick up a few items for dinner as Rocket was coming over to make me some enchiladas. Gin said she would watch the kids so I could run out and get the stuff quickly, so off I went.

A couple of dumbasses didn't know how to get out of their parking spots and exit the lot efficiently, so the truck behind me and I had to wait awhile. As I was walking in, the guy from the truck next to me said, "Wow, took a while for everyone to get organized back there!" and I responded with a smile, "Yeah, guess so!"

We chatted briefly while we went into the store and went our separate ways. Halfway through my search, I ran into him again and he smiled and said, "Hi again!" I laughed a bit and he said, "It's awkward when you enter the store with someone and you run into them later, then you wonder if they think you're stalking them!" I said, "Well, I'm not from around here anyway, so I'm not worried," He then said he was trying to find soft tortilla shells, which was exactly what I was looking for, so a store employee led us to the Mexican food section. The dude kept talking to me, telling me he was making dinner for friends, and how he is used to cooking for one, and how he usually eats fast food. I'm nodding quietly at this point, and add that I am having dinner with a friend and my kids. (When I recognize that I'm potentially being hit on, I always throw in the kids reference first, then if necessary throw out the hubby reference second.)

Got what I needed, went to the checkout - dude arrives and joins the line right behind me, basket in one arm and armload of buttwipe under the other arm. Starts chatting again. I tell him where I'm from, and he tells me he flies planes at the airport in my city. I'm nodding and praying for the freakin' woman in front of me to hurry the hell up, and he breaks out with, "So maybe your kids would like to come out for a ride in the plane one day?" I said politely, "Um, I don't know. They aren't really the type." He goes for the kill: "So maybe Mom would like to?"

Gawd, buddy, this is in the middle of the dinnertime grocery store rush - in the 20 items or less line!! Everyone is listening at this point, and I don't want to make this embarrassing or awkward, because I HATE awkward. And it's not just that I'm married - it's that he's SO not my type! Frig!

"Oh, that's not really my thing." (It is.)

STILL doesn't get the message, and continues with, "Oh, it's much better than flying in a bigger plane, in a smaller plane you feel like you have more control and you feel a lot safer" (Yeah, tell that to my mom who needs to dope herself up to get on a commercial flight - you couldn't get her in one of those little planes if her life depended on it!)

I finish paying for my shiz, politely wish him good luck with his dinner party, and make a mad dash for the door. Flying to my car while trying not to look like a bat out of hell, I'm just getting in when I hear, "Excuse me..."

Crap.

He hands me his business card with his cell phone number and says, "Here's my number. I don't know if you're single, but..." I say nicely, "Um, I'm not," and he shoves the card at me and says, "Well, here anyway..." and races off.

For one, good on him for at least taking a chance. That's how you meet people, right? I mean, I admire the guy for his persistence.

But could I have created a more cringe-worthy situation for myself? (Rigby can attest to the fact that I turn stone cold frozen when I get hit on in a very forward way, she saw me crash and burn at the Vance Hotel back in April.) I kept hearing the alarm bells going off, saying "The Hubby Reference! Now! Do it now! Now! NOW!!" But I felt too awkward, and when it finally came down to the wire, I made it worse, for myself and this poor guy.

Geez. When will I learn?

Bex ended the show on Friday, November 11, 2005 at 12:50 AM | Permalink